Social Media has been a hot topic in our house for many years. Almost all of my kid's friends have accounts and most of all of their classmates. Snapchat, Instagram, and Tik Tok being 3 of the most popular. So in writing this, I know I am going against the grain here and am not doing this to admonish everyone but rather explain my view of our current situation. I, for years, have railed against them having any social media as I don't think it is healthy for kids to be so caught up in their "likes", follower count, and the "all about me" mentality, so we have always said no. I don't think that a big source of their self esteem should be based on people clicking "like" and saying how pretty or not everyone thinks they are. I know parents' views vary GREATLY on this so I am not saying I am right but just my opinion and what has worked for my family.
For my almost 16 year old son, I also don't think he needs a constant barrage of his friends and girls he doesn't even know wearing next to nothing and posing seductively. I know I am not the norm and am totally fine with that. Is it popular? Nope, but I have said for years, "I REFUSE TO SACRIFICE MY CHILDREN ON THE ALTAR OF POPULARITY." I would rather them be good, moral, and well behaved than popular. We want them to use any popularity they may have for good, be positive leaders, not followers. While my kids aren't perfect, I am often told what good kids they are. I feel social media and the lack of it, is a big part of that.
My daughters, who will be 13 this summer absolutely love creating content. They watch Kids YouTube and have created different YouTube channels over the years to have fun and make content. I have always disabled the comments so trolls can't say stupid stuff. While as adults we know that haters will hate, kids have a hard time discerning who the haters actually are. They can be people who have nothing better to do with their time than try to bring others down, they can be people who are jealous of them, they can be people who are just mean, haters come in many forms, none of which are something kids should have to deal with. One of their channels, B.M.B. Life, they did with one of their classmates and best friends.They literally did this channel on their own without any parent involvement other than our knowledge that they were doing it. Since they aren't allowed on YouTube by themselves they were able to post them when done on my computer with help. I'll be honest, I was pretty impressed with how cute, age appropriate, and fun their content was. One video has almost 700 views!
They enjoy Brooklyn and Bailey (identical wholesome twins) who post cute, fun content without bad language or sexually charged content. Being identical twins themselves my girls relate to a lot of their posts. During the Corona Quarantine we have had more time to watch YouTube and we got to talking and they really wanted to start another channel that they can update as often as they want. They still love doing it with their friend and plan to, but quarantine is kind of messing that up now! The thought is, if so many people can use social media in a bad way, can we try to flip it and use it for good?! Create content that helps instead of hurts? Be a light in a dark time?
I am a researcher at heart, so I set out and started looking into the hows and whats of helping them create something that could be lasting and impactful. In doing that, I realized that having multiple platforms was super important. As an author, I knew this in a way, but guess I didn't realize just how much, especially in this market, cross optimization over the various platforms would help. Instagram polls that relate to their YouTube channel content where followers can interact in real time is one example. I now had a conundrum...my kids aren't allowed Instagram, Tik Tok etc.... but I am a problem solver so I figured out a way to make it work.
I decided to allow my daughters to have both Instagram and Tik Tok, but the account is only accessed on my phone. Is this a monumental pain in the rear, YUP, but is it worth it to still be able to protect them? YUP! This way, they can utilize the functionality of what those platforms have to offer while still not having to view the vulgarity that Tik Tok affords. TBH as the kids say (To Be Honest for us older folks) I spent some time on Tik Tok the other night during research mode and OH MY WORD, it is nasty. Some of it hilarious, but a lot of it was nasty. I did however come across some people who are using it for good, including a hashtag #jesusgang. My girls are allowed to make videos after we find appropriate content for them to do. I often have to go look up song lyrics because while the little clip may be clean, the actual song is beyond vulgar. If it is just instrumental that is a little easier but not many of those. I also will be reviewing comments people make and deciding what to share and not share with them. They are in NO WAY allowed to just sit and scroll through videos on there. We have found 2 people so far for them to try to find some content from, Brooklyn and Bailey (Identical twins and most are very clean) and @macktruex both who seem to be wholesome girls.
As far as Instagram goes, I spent quite a bit of time on there too. I have had an account for myself for a while but hadn't really paid much attention to what the "tween" market was up to. Again, it was disheartening to see what some of the more popular girls their age are doing to get followers. 11 and 12 year olds posing seductively with boys trying to recreate celebrity photos of people who are in their 20's! An 11 year old who is very well known remaking a cover of Taylor Swift's song LOVER...at ELEVEN YEARS OLD! I ask myself what is wrong with these kid's parents that they want so badly for their kids to "make it" that they are sacrificing their youth, their innocence. But I digress.... I allowed my girls to have an account on my phone that I will manage. They can utilize it under my supervision. I can assure you they won't be doing a cover of LOVER at 12 years old!
With all of these platforms I have told my girls that they should look at it as customers, not followers. If they create content that doesn't get a lot of likes or comments, they need to not think people didn't like them, but maybe that content isn't what their customers want. They can still create it for fun, but to grow their business they have to also be sure they try to meet the needs of their customers in an appropriate way. They are really wanting to create a business with this and therefore I want them to treat it as one.
My son, still does not have a Snap, Insta, or Tik Tok account. I offered him the same thing, on my phone for Instagram, but he would rather just not have it that way. That is fine with me.
I guess we will see how it goes over the next few months and see if I made the right decision or not. Once quarantine is over and I have less time, it will get more interesting. I know two things for sure. They are loving getting to create content and I am loving getting to spend quality time with them helping them. If you want to see what they have been up to, please go to YouTube and subscribe to their channel: britain and brielle and yes if you know me the lowercase is KILLING me, but that is how they wanted it, and it is after all, their channel =)! Link below!
Also feel free to follow them on Instagram at both britainandbrielle and TeamTay2026 on Tik Tok at @britandbrie and their other 2 YouTube channels TeamTay2026 (to follow their beach volleyball) and B.M.B. Life.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBBs6MhT8Nt-wsm3H5T8jbQ?view_as=subscriber
They sure would LOVE your support! Thanks so much!
Update: During quarantine my son wanted to also start a YouTube channel and also for volleyball recruiting they recommend social media for contacting coaches, so he now has some accounts but again on my phone for now. This may change at some point as he is almost 16, but I want to help him learn how to use it appropriately before just handing it over to him.
