Monday, November 10, 2014

STOP Saying Strong is the new skinny!

Saying strong is the new skinny makes about as much sense as saying blue is the new pink. It is NOT and NEVER will be. And by the way, it may be insulting to those who hear it. 
 

I get where these people may be coming from. Maybe they used to have an eating disorder where they could never be thin enough and now finally they are ok being a little bigger (read stronger). Maybe they don't think being really thin is as attractive as being a little more muscular. I think however they may be trading one obsession for another. 

Body image is a touchy topic typically more in the female realm. For a long time thin was in, celebrities who gained a few pounds were splashed on covers and called fat. Losing the baby weight practically overnight was hailed as a success (with these mothers completely missing the fact that they may be hurting their babies if they were nursing or worse yet not caring because vanity was more important). Anorexia, bulimia, and a host of other disorders sprouted up....thin was considered the desired look to many.
 

Now we see Strong is the New Skinny....Real Women Have Curves..Skinny is not Sexy, Health is..... and I can't help but think....what about the actual naturally skinny women? I saw an article recently on this and at first I kind of thought oh poor naturally skinny girls with their skinny girl problems but then I thought about it a little more and thought we NEED to STOP...we need to stop categorizing women based on the numbers on the scale. Back in the renaissance days hefty was sexy, skinny probably meant the poor thing was literally poor. But guess what? God made us all different, some are bigger, some are smaller, but that shouldn't define us. Some women are actually naturally thin and they may eat like champs and just not put on weight...so are they to think they are not sexy, not good enough, that there is something wrong with them?! Should they have to listen to you tell them to eat a hamburger or that a strong wind would blow them away?? No, but that may be what they are hearing. 

I think this new Crossfit, Hard Exercise Works, hardcore workout stuff is getting out of hand. If you are spending more time in the gym than you are quality time with your family, I would say your priorities are screwed up. If you are constantly criticizing and critiquing your body in front of your kids I would say knock it off. They love you for you, complaining that your butt is too big is kind of telling them there is something wrong with what they love....oh and possibly setting them up for body image issues/eating disorders down the road. I am not saying to sit around and eat hohos every day, but I am saying this shouldn't be your number one priority in life. Working out is good for you but there is a line between being healthy and obsessing over it ...from what I see lately I think a lot of people are crossing that line.
 

I grew up in a house that loved skinny, they liked that 5'10", 120 pound heroine chic look....when the rest of the world was loving JLo's body, I think they were probably thinking a good diet should be on her menu. I grew up acting and modeling...modeled and acted in swimwear, even for companies as big as Adidas, even did swimwear on the runway as an adult and even at my thinnest, I probably thought I could drop another few pounds, which was probably a nutty way to think. I worked out A LOT and watched what I ate very closely but thank God I never succumbed to an eating disorder but know many, many girls do. I modeled until my mid twenties and then had kids.....kids have a way of making you gain a few pounds, or in my case, more than a few. I could probably write a whole other blog on not starving yourself during your pregnancy due to vanity but will stay the course:) After my twins I finally got back down to below my wedding weight but I waited until I was done nursing them to do so. Did the vain part of me hate this, yes, but guess what Moms...it ain't all about you! Do I mess up as a parent, yup, but this was something I felt I got right.  I get so aggravated when I see new Moms on the cover of a magazine talking about losing the baby weight so fast when their baby is still tiny. If you are nursing this is not smart and should not be applauded.
 

Now a few years later I have had some major health issues which include but are not limited to severe back problems with multiple herniations, protrusions, disc degeneration, spinal stenosis and these issues plus some others ended up with me gaining some weight. To say it is hard is an understatement because as much as I want to believe being thin isn't so incredibly important, so much of my past says it is. Maybe I went through this to see what it is like on the other side, maybe I can make a difference in other's lives?  I am learning though that I am SO MUCH MORE THAN A NUMBER ON A SCALE. We as women need to find value and worth in more than our size, more than the number on the scale, more than the number of ab muscles we can count....we need to STOP saying one body image is better then the other. No, STRONG is not the new SKINNY, because skinny doesn't need to be replaced.
 

Now that I have started losing weight again people feel the need to comment which isn't that big of a deal, but when it is in front of my kids I am not as thrilled. I don't go on to my kids about losing or gaining weight. They have no idea that I boxed up my size 0-6 clothes and put them in the garage. This doesn't and shouldn't concern them. They don't need to see a mom whose happiness depends on her size. I am starting to see this in a new light, I used to sort of like the Real Women Have Curves type of ads because I used to think that we were praising being thin too much, but just lately have I realized that by praising one we are insulting another.
 

To all you naturally thin women out there: you are exactly how God made you, stop letting the workout fanatics and women with curves make you feel less than beautiful. 

To all you naturally curvy women out there: I say basically the same thing, stop letting the workout fanatics and thin women make you feel less than beautiful. 
 
Can we just embrace all the shapes and sizes and love ourselves for the way God created us?

Love to hear your thoughts below!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Porn for 12 year olds????

So I am in the car this morning and I am listening to the radio. They are talking to a woman who had asked her husband to have the "sex talk" with their 12 year old son. Apparently the father handeled this "talk" by giving his 12 year old a copy of Penthouse! The mother of course thought her husband was a complete moron for doing this and she wanted to know others opinons of the situation. They asked for people to call in. I couldn't help myself on this one, so I picked up the phone. Oddly enough it actually rang and someone answered.

Then it went something like this.....I told them I was calling in about the brain dead husband who gave the kids porn. They asked me to wait a bit and so I did. Then it sounded like all 3 hosts were on and they asked me what I was calling about. I said I am calling about the brain dead husband who gave his 12 year old porn! I told them it was asinine and that I had a 6 year old son and couldn't fathom ever doing that. I said even when he is 20, you just don't give your kids PORN! It is just stupid, stupid, stupid in my opionon, then I heard clapping! They said this is kind of what they call a HSO "Hot Sports Object" something that people feel very strongly about. I said oh yes, I even get highly annoyed by the soft porn Victoria Secret commercials that I don't want my 6 year old seeing while he is watching football with his dad!

What are your thoughts on this? I only heard them air two responses, mine and another guy who was more on the fence as I guess his stupid father had done something similiar but with a show instead of a magazine!

I must have written this one a while ago and never published it....so publishing it now =) Side Note: my son is now 10 and I am no closer to even considering giving him porn!

Friday, October 10, 2014

Black-ish: more like Trash-ish...The New Cosby...uh no, not even close!

TV is becoming trash.....I enjoy TV, movies, even the occasional podcast. I sometimes like to unwind at the end of the day and let my brain go on a semi-vacation. I don't always have the time to, but when I do....I enjoy this mostly mindless entertainment.


                               picture from http://ineedcoffee.com/inanimate-objects-comics-12/


We've probably all heard the old adage laughter is good for the soul (or the best medicine...or maybe both, who can really remember these things!). I am always looking for great new comedies, there is a lot of depressing stuff on TV and in life so I enjoy the time when I can sort of push that away and have a good laugh. So I was blissfully optimistic about the new ABC show Blackish, from the previews it looked cute and funny. I believe it was even compared to The Cosby Show which will always be a classic in my book, for this comparison alone I probably would have watched.

So I tuned in with bated breath and high anticipation. The first part of the show was decent, it showed a family who is going through life together, they had their successes and they had their problems, but they seemed like a fairly normal family. There were some funny moments and the acting was solid. Towards the end of the pilot episode however it was discovered the son's basic goal in life is to hold a boob?! Really! The Dad tells his son it is important for him to hold onto his culture. The son responds by saying, "honestly the only thing I am trying to hold onto right now is my first boob." What does the grandfather chime in?? "You can't be mad at him for that."
 
Pops and Dad think this is great, but I sat there stupefied.
 
I was annoyed, irritated, appalled....is this really what we are glorifying these days? Holding boobs at 14 is the highest achievement one can attain? Is this really what we want for our sons? Annoyed, I thought..... I NEED to blog about this. Screaming it from the rooftops is so antiquated, right!?
 
The last week has been busy with my new book, Devotions for Beginning Readers releasing this month from Thomas Nelson. I have been busy working on speaking engagements, book signings etc.. so I hadn't gotten around to writing the blog.  Last night I decided to watch the second installment of the show to see if it would be any better...or worse! If I was going to take the time to blog about it, a little more research wouldn't hurt.
 
                                 Promotion warning =) my book that has been keeping me busy
 
 
                                               
You can imagine my shock and horror when minutes into this second installment the Dad walks in on his son masturbating. YUP...that happened. Are writers on this show really this pathetic that they have to go there to try and elicit some laughs? I am not foolish enough to think this isn't something kids go through, but to put it on a show for laughs, wow! The Cosby show was funny, but it was also clean. Their writers knew how to balance real life and humor without delving into things that are clearly inappropriate.

A 14 year old talking about Helen Mirren really "getting him there"...(no I am not making that up) funny, no.... uncomfortable, gag inducing, yes maybe. This is in no way intended to be an insult to Helen Mirren, but let's be honest when a 14 year old fantasizes about an almost 70 year old woman...well do I really need to explain this?
 
By the way, ABC has now ordered a full season of Black-ish...so the moral decay will continue.
 
Why are writers these days getting so lazy? Why do they feel the need to throw some F bombs or in this case sexual jokes into content to try to make it more entertaining? There has got to be a better way!
 
Why do you think they do this? Comments welcomed below!